your seat mate?

Ok, I was doing some writing for my new European Travel gig over at BellaOnline when I was reminded of a flight HK and I took to Nepal.  We were on this hellacious long flight and had to stop and refuel somewhere in India.  Everybody got off the plane (we thought), and when we re-boarded and got to our seats (in the center row, near the back, how much worse can it get?) there was this nasty man all sprawled-out in our seats, with his greasy head on my pillow and our blankets all wrapped around him. Upon closer inspection, I noticed that he was drooling on my pilllow!!!!!  YECCCCHHHH!!!

Not wanting to touch him, I notified the attendant, who promptly poked him and pulled the blankets off of him. (She was kind enough to give us fresh pillows and blankets without our having to ask.)


Last time we flew together, HK had a total oozer beside him. We were in Thailand, and this man in a suit, who very plainly thought his shit didn’t stink (even tho he was in the back of the plane), proceeded to hog HK’s armrest, and fling open his newspaper practically in HK’s face.  He wasn’t fat, but he was all in our space, and kept shaking out the newspaper (you know how people do that, to get the wrinkles out, or whatever…) the attendant had to bump him every time she walked by, because he was hogging the aisle space, too.

one toke over the line

I once sat in a seat that had been thrown-up on all the way from Miami to Ecuador because there were no other seats. I ended up having to take off my jeans and the stewardess (they were callled that at the time) washed them out for me. I sat in that nasty-ass seat with like, 4 blankets around my lower-half.

Have you had one of these losers sit by you? Maybe someone who has like, 8 drinks on top of what she had in the airport bar? And then she falls asleep on your shoulder??? (And smacks her lips, or pisses herself?)  (I like to fuck with these people real bad, like hide their ticket, or tie their shoe laces together)  Or a seatmate with a particularly disgusting abcess on his ear? (another kind of oozer, but an oozer nonetheless).  Or maybe the worst—a screaming baby directly behind you that keeps pulling your hair –or in front of you and keeps turning around and spitting up)

Share your travel nightmares here. Yours might just earn a spot in my book! (names changed to protect the innocent, of course!)