Every year about this time i am faced with a quandary…what to wear for halloween. In all my life, i think there have been, oh, maybe 5 years when i didn’t don a costume. Even when i’m not trick-or-treating or going to a party, i still like to dress up and get out. I no longer think it’s cool to egg the nasty neighbor’s house, or soap the windows of sworn enemies. i outgrew the mean pranks -the tricks-that during my teen years were associated with Halloween. For many years, we hosted large parties where costumes were mandatory, and I’m thinking about starting that tradition again, since i have an attic full of props.
A couple of years ago, honeykins and i were bored, so we put on these full-face-masks (you know–the kind that collect little pools of condensation in the nose, and you feel like you’re going to suffocate?)
He was Dilbert, an i was a vampire, and we had on these huge ponchos, and got on our knees, so we’d look like kids–or midgets– and went around to some neighbor’s doors and stuck out our bags. “TRICK OR TREAT!” we’d sing in fake soprano voices. When we got the obligatory sweets, i’d look in my bag-back up at the person’s face and holler in my best “South Park” voice- “THIS SUCKS! GIMMEE SOME FUCKIN’ CANDY!!!”
‘YEAH,CANDY, DAMMMIT” honeykins chimed-in, as we greedily grabbed handfuls of candy out of their dish. As one neighbor tried to shut the door in our faces, while muttering half aloud “you little…” we whipped off our masks, and he nearly pissed himself.. After a glass of wine and a few more laughs, we’d be off for the next house. That night was a blast!
I don’t believe in buying costumes, i like to use my imagination. Here are a few of the costumes we’ve come up with over the years…
Killer Bees (complete w/ fake machine guns and ammo-belts)
Illegal alien (face painted green, deely-boppers coming out of sombrero, authentic mexican poncho)
Osama bin Laden (me),Yo Mama bin Laden (honeykins, in complete burqa)
Dick Head (condom cap, Pocket protector, “hello my name is..Richard Cranium” sticker
Wayne and Garth (Wayne’s World)
Austin Powers and Foxy Brown
i’d love for you to leave a comment on YOUR best costume (or idea). Happy Halloween!!!